So I downloaded Pro Evolution Soccer: Club Manager for my iPad because I’m a sucker for Team Management games. I was going to review it but for now I thought I’d chronicle the journey of one man’s mission to raise a lowly team from the Moon into the worlds greatest football team.
That manager was Champ Thunderdick.
First things first, Champ had to create the team in the first place. Not many people know this, but the Moon doesn’t even have a football team! So after stealing the emblem of a team he has never heard of, he quickly finished up on creating the future powerhouse that is TAY United.
Champ immediately realised how ugly the kit looked. Alas, he could not change it. Deliveries to the Moon don’t come cheap.
Champ felt a wave of silent euphoria wash over him as he received his plaque over e-mail.
Suddenly, Champ realised he didn’t have a single player! So he immediately made some calls to
kidnap sign an all-star footballer. That all-star footballer was Hulk from Brazil!
Then after that Champ got some more nobodies...
I suppose you could say Hulk was really feeling it about playing for TAY United!
TAY United’s first game was quickly approaching, but Champ Thunderdick wasn’t worried. He spent a whole minute finding the best of the best to play for the Moon’s number one team.
After doing the math for another hour, Champ deduced that 580 is a larger number than 464.
He then spent another minute putting together an unstoppable formation that would make even the greatest manager tremble at the very site.
The day finally arrived. TAY United’s first match was in their very own stadium. The seats were surprisingly packed, as holidays to the Moon aren’t cheap this time of year.
The Moon was surprisingly bright too. We spared no expense.
Within the first fifteen minutes Hulk planted one firmly into the back of the net. Things couldn’t get any better for TAY United.
Champ Thunderdick decided to play it safe for the rest of the half. He wanted that victory and if playing like a coward meant getting it, then so be it.
At Half Time it was clear TAY was dominating Numancia, but would it last?
Of course it could! How silly of you to think otherwise! Champ Thunderdick is an expert Managerographer. TAY quickly gained another goal to go two up.
Good job J. Walters. Too bad you all look the same.
Champ decided that it’s time to slow down and play defensively. He got the lead. He just needed the team to take it slow to earn the victory.
Full time came around and it was clear who the player of the match was.
Yea! Great job
TAY United got off to great start to the season, but only time will tell if they can keep it up.
TAY’s next game was against the team at the bottom of the table. However, Champ knew that it meant nothing this early on. It was still all to play for.
Pffffffft! Yea right!
Being the sole manager on the Moon, Champ was, by Moon laws, made the mayor of this small rock too. Unfortunately, he had no idea how to colonise a satellite, so he decided to do what he knows best. Build some facilities for his team.
What’s that? People need somewhere to live? They can sleep in the Club House at night.
Champ decided to
steal sign a new player to close off this glorious day.
Not pictured: The gun being held against Gudjohnsens back.
And that’s how the first week of TAY United’s campaign to the top had ended. If we have to take one thing away from this, it’s that I have too much time on my hands.
What will happen next time on The Adventures of TAY United? A doping allegation? Champ loses it all on Moon-Blackjack? Not another corrupt FIFA Official!?